Six months later. A month and a half post-trail. Might as well be years, decades. A millennia, for how I feel. Changed. Forever altered, through an experience I’m uncertain at this time can even be captured and put into words. We’ll see. It just seems… too big. Like attempting to understand the scale of a 100 billion lightyears. Impossible? No. Beyond the scope of our human processing power? Probably…
We can only go so far as we ourselves can go. Part of me wants to believe that that is infinite. We’re One with the Universe and therefore can translate and comprehend anything, given enough space, patience, and practice. Another part however, the inherently human part, feels… inadequate, to express something so far above & beyond the Me that is sitting here typing this now.
I am cross legged on a borrowed bed in Bend, Spotify’s “Musical Therapy” playing lightly in my ears. A peaceful sound to combat the war-tainment blaring from the TV in the other room.
It’s 10am on a Sunday. I want to cry. You know, the usual.
It’s the New Moon in Libra. I started my own moon yesterday. The cramps, the feels, the confusion and clarity coming through in equal measure. The word “surrender” drifting around inside my head.
Surrender. Wave the white flag and let go of control, it says. Let go of anything you believe you once were. You’ve been reborn. Yes, growing pains can be uncomfortable. Embrace them with love and acceptance.
Are you ready?
It’ll be ok.
It’s time to share what you’ve learned. Bit by bit, the lessons will seep up through your memories, past your heart, and be pushed like blood to your fingertips, and translated as symbols on a screen.
For everybody to read.
I am ready.
One step at a time.